It would seem that inspiration has struck yet again. I warn you though, dear reader, before you go on, that this particular blog may be filled with gushy and gooey sentimentality, cheesy clichés, and may tug at the gag reflexes oh so gently.
And so, for those brave of heart and strong of stomach and disposition, I continue…
I’m not quite sure when it was that this latest realization hit me…I think I may have been leading up to it for a few days, weeks perhaps. I’m starting to acknowledge my anxiety triggers and do something about them before they manifest themselves in a huge swirling ball of jealously, inadequacy and general gloom. Take earlier for example: I received a message from my dear sister saying that they were in Graskop yesterday, and I immediately felt as though, her, along with everyone else, is having soo much more fun than I am. I had to stop and remind myself that yesterday I was in Cambridge, lazily and dreamily sitting back in a punt been chauffeured along the river by the prettiest and most angelic-looking punter. I had a great time yesterday!
…And of my constant fretting about not been pretty. I may not be beautiful, but that doesn’t make me ugly, and I can most certainly deal with that. I feel as though my life has been on hold for so long and I’ve been so afraid to do anything, so shy and scared and terrified of not been good enough and therefore not doing anything at all. But I think that I make a damn fine Karen and really, what more can I aspire to? There will always be those a lot better off than me and good for them I say!
So…now armed with my new sense of value, self worth and newly acquired confidence, I’m off to the city to wow a few more people, earn some money and spread a little fabulous. Right after I compulsively check my e-mail again.