Friday, 17 July 2009

I'll give it another two months

I’ve been here for five months. Four, if you consider the month I was in South Africa. Five months. It’s a long time to have not done anything. Not really anyway. I feel like I haven’t done anything but read, listen to music and spend my days off in London. I’m feeling a little disappointed by it. With myself mostly. I’m too hard on myself probably. I do long hours and it took a while to become accustomed to the hard work. But now that I’m used to the hours, and the job, I feel like there should have been more.

Hambleden is beautiful, quaint and English. But, these are not my people. Not here. I was touched by the opening up to me in the kitchen last night. He told me personal things, and I felt like I had a friend. I think, it always seems to be the shared music that decides a friendship. Or at least, some sort of understanding.

I do feel ready to move on, try my luck somewhere else, see what the next place in this Kingdom has to offer. I’ve met some interesting people, but made no friends. I blame no one but myself for that of course, I’m generally difficult and socially awkward (at best). Ah well.

It’s poured down with rain all day so far. The best part was the thunder and lightening. A proper storm, lasting all of five minutes. That is what I miss, real storms. The loud and violent kind. All that the rain has achieved is to make it humid. Sticky. It’s perfect nap weather right now, so that is what I’ll do. I’ll take a book to bed with me, in the hope that I’ll get through a few pages before I pass out.

No comments:

Post a Comment